We were both in high school when we met, I was 13 and you were 14. We got along well enough I could say, I can talk to you about anything under the sun. It never dawned upon me one day you will be the one. We were acquaintance, it is what I know.
It all came as a surprise to me, why all of a sudden people around us would tease us. I used to just smile about it, thinking our classmates have nothing better to do that’s why they are saying those things. Until one day someone from the class approached me and said you wanted to bring me home. I was surprised, still thinking it’s a joke. Then it happened, days that follow you were that one person who was always beside me. One morning you approached me, telling me a story about what some sort of a fortune teller told you about me. Felt I was trapped at that moment, I couldn’t deny there is a truth to what you just told me. At that moment I knew, you knew already what I was feeling for you. And we became young lovers, it was good. We never argue, I was a brat but I was always soft spoken to you. You were quiet most of the time but we got along.
I decided one day I had to breakup with you, not because I don’t love you but because we were too young and I felt we didn’t really know what we got ourselves into. However, a few days later I asked you back. Hoping this time it will be a lot better, but sadly it wasn’t, the more it became difficult, more so because of your association with another girl from the class.
At that time, most people think I was at my best and you were at your worst. Even you yourself didn’t believe you were good enough for me. Days passed by and we moved on in different directions, I approached you one last time but you allowed your pride to get in the way. It was a painful morning, a young heart I have then. You made me feel I was no longer the one you needed, and I knew I had to let go and give up. When we were in college already I sent you a letter, I was worried about you because some friends told me you were losing weight and I wanted to know why. But you never took the time to reply and that was the last thing I heard about you. There are days you would cross my mind and I’ll always wonder where on earth you could be. There are times I felt worried about you, not hearing anything about you. And I will end up praying and hoping you were doing good, or at least better since the last time I saw you.
Years have passed, I have gotten a lot older but still you would cross my mind. Thinking if you ever thought of me even for once. 18 years after, I guess by fate we met again, you found your way back to me. But it’s all different now, we have our own lives already, both of us are now married with kids. However, the feelings scared me. I knew the moment I saw you, the part of my heart that was yours when I was young is still yours. We were able to talk, it was not easy but we got along. Till that day, the day you told me I am still the one. You told me how you think of me, how you would imagine me being your wife. It’s a scary feeling but it’s the truth, you told me how sorry you were that you let me go. The moment you saw me again you knew in your heart that I am the missing part, that I am the one who makes you whole. I am everything you want and need. We were both crying, no more words came after. I knew for myself that you are also the one. I had you at your worst but you failed to see that despite the young heart I have I was there, always there for you. I stood up against what people say about us.
Now, we are both happy to know the love was real but in pain as well because we are in a situation that is difficult to change. You told me “don’t give up on us now, coz you believe in the end it will be us again and it will be forever now.” It was quite unfair of you to ask me that. It means a lot of sacrifice, tears, and heartaches before that day comes. You were the one who gave me up years ago, and now you are telling me not to give you up this time. It’s a difficult path ahead of us, I cannot see a clear view of what you are telling me. You would always say “you know the truth, how I feel, what I feel.”
Heard from stories of friends, things like that can happen, and those who have allowed their feelings to prevail are now couples, they didn’t try looking for each other but fate has a way that brought them together. As they say, “what is meant to be will always find their way.”
I do not know what is ahead of us, but with you I realized that love real love doesn’t come with age. Young love, first love could be true as it can be. I learned my lessons too, it is always better to live in humility and not pride even in a relationship. One needs to be vocal and not allow the moment to pass you by. Conquer the moment, live it and enjoy it. Do not allow fears and insecurities to set in. However, is it possible, is it for real? And I guess I hope to put hope and prayers together to know the answers.
I believe God will guide us and will tell us what’s right. In time we will know what is really meant for us, it is a difficult process, waiting and patience is needed. But whatever happens, I thank you for letting me know that I complete you, that I’ve found a love in you. We may be miles apart but its good to know that somewhere out there you are there. My young love, my first love.
Walang komento:
Mag-post ng isang Komento